Protecting yourself from out-of-state invaders coming into the beautiful West


I've been lucky. Where I am, in Glendale, Arizona, a suburb of Phoenix, things haven't changed much in the past couple of decades. The neighborhood that I'm in was built in the 1980s, and places like the Post Office, the Home Depot, Applebees, etc., were built in the early '90s, about when I moved here. So other than the convenience of being able to mail something, or buying a lawnmower, or eating one of those delicious petite sirloins at Applebees, nothing much has changed here for me. But other places here in the West haven't been so lucky, and if you live there, you know.

The beautiful wide-open spaces of places like Oregon, Arizona, and even Wyoming have been under attack lately by a fierce invasion. Many of these people are moving there from California, but some bring their attitudes, and careless ways with money, from other places in the country. Here in Arizona one of the hardest-hit places is Payson, which just makes the old-timers cry.

But there's no stopping the invasion, they're like locusts. The best that you can do is to protect yourself a bit. And the best thing you can do is to try to avoid them. You could, of course, try to profit from them by selling them a twenty-seven dollar glass of wine, or opening a "Scotch Tape Boutique", but really that's hardly fair to your fellow locals, as if just encourages prices to go up. The invaders, especially from California, don't think twice about paying Beverly Hills prices, and a lot of the people who are moving in can easily write a check for the most expensive truck on the lot, paying full price.

You'll see trendy stores popping up with "100% organic imported from wherever" coffee houses and places that sell croissants. There will be tables set outside with umbrellas to give the impression that it's a French cafe. The invaders will sit there, sipping their espresso. There will probably be tee-shirt places and no doubt a Sam's Club, because these people wouldn't dream of ever entering a Walmart.

But you really don't have to interact with these people. Like I say, go to your local Walmart, they either won't be there, or they'll be on their way to becoming a local. You can try communicating with these people, it is possible, because as strange as their jabber is, with patience you can learn to understand it. Avoid looking at their clothing with the carefully-designed tears on it, and the signs that it had been purchased "pre-worn". Take a look at their truck, and see if it has "Arizona pin-striping". That would be a good sign.

If they want to talk about the rising real estate market, you can just politely refuse. Introduce them to your dog, and if at all possible have them get jumped on with muddy paws. They may turn out to be good people. You can't stop the invasion, the best you can do is roll with it, and see if you can turn an invader into a friend.

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