Learning about proud gay people in Hollywood in the 1980s


Growing up in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and going to college in Arizona, I'm sure that there were gay people around me, but no one talked about it, not really. There were the usual jokes, but I never knew anyone who openly admitted to me that they were gay. That happened in 1982 in Hollywood, California at the apartment complex where I lived, the Argyle Apartments.

There was an old guy living there (probably about the age that I am now), who took the time to talk to me. He had seen me hanging around (I was unemployed), and approached me. I was happy to have someone to talk to, in a strange town, but I was aware that his interest went beyond friendship. But he was wonderfully polite, and very matter-of-fact, and once he realized that I wasn't gay, he was fine with it. There were no hurt feelings, and as someone who has always been intellectually curious, I asked him what it was like. He was not ashamed of it, it was part of who he was.

Listening to him gave me a point of view that has helped me my whole life. My first question to him was why did he think that I was gay? His answer was that he had no idea, but was just hopeful that I was. And he told me that men who are attractive to women are also attractive to gay men. It just made sense. I lived in California for many years, and worked in the art world, and his wisdom helped to guide me. From him I learned that there is no "Gay-dar" (supposedly a type of radar that gay people have to recognize other gay people), and that people are people, whose emotions are stirred.

I met many people during my time in California - rich people, poor people, tall people, short people, and from that I developed an empathy that I doubt that I would have developed otherwise. If you cut them, do they not bleed?

Photo at the top of this post: At the Argyle Apartments in 1982, with two friends, one feline, one gay (who took the photo).
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