The changing meaning of the word love


In a long life I've loved many people. And if your first thought is "Yikes! Is this blog no longer "G" rated?", relax, it is. I want to talk about how the word love has changed in common usage in fairly recent history.

And yes, my choice of words was intentionally ambiguous at the beginning of this post, and since you seem to be worried about it, here ya go: I'm an ordinary garden-variety straight guy who has been romantically involved from the very first time that a girl ever returned the sentiment, which has been a long time now. There. Now if you'll bear with me, I want to talk about love.

I will have to choose my words carefully here, because I have no intention of being vulgar, and since so many terms have gone from being euphemisms to vulgarities, I promise to be careful. When in doubt I'll give you a smile and a wink, if you know what I mean (and I think you do). And the first thing I want to talk about is making love.

As someone who likes old movies, old books, and old songs, running into the older use of some terms can be startling. I distinctly remember being shocked by hearing a woman in an old black-and-white movie say, "Why, Mr. Jones (or Smith or whatever), are you making love to me?" At the time it simply meant flirting, or courting. Even the Beach Boys could use the expression without seeming vulgar as late as the 1960s: "Oh, what she does to me, when she makes love to me..."

Euphemisms start out innocent, and then after everyone agrees what it really means, they become vulgar. Of course, in the Bible, after a man knows his wife she usually has a baby, and yet somehow the term "know" never really came to mean (smile and a wink). If that had been the case, if you asked me if I knew your wife when we were in high school, and I said yes, there would be a duel at dawn (or whatever).

But love is a wonderful word, and speaking for myself, I kinda hate seeing it get a smile and wink all of the time. I have loved many people, and I mean beyond friendship, and admiration, but with the kind of ache that makes you wish that they could live forever. And when they dragged my carcass out of Intensive Care many years ago, and put me back together for a longer life, I decided that my advice to everyone would be to tell the people that you love that you love them. Not easy to do!

Maybe in the future other words will replace the word love for (smile and a wink). Nowadays I hear the word "intimacy", but I won't list any more, the Google 'bots may not like them, and I have no intention of offending them, or you.

Love ya, man!

Image at the top of this post: Sculpture in Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.
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