Living alongside of people who are waiting for the end of the world, in February of 2022


All my life (which has now spanned over six decades) I've lived alongside of people who have been waiting for the end of the world, or Armageddon, or whatever they call it. And actually, to be fair, they're waiting for the end of the world as they know it, because the world will keep on spinning for a very long time no matter what happens on its surface. Ask the dinosaurs! Oh yeah, that's right, you can't, they're gone.

And my nerdy brain, along with my silly sense of humor, has made me not only tolerant of people who are waiting for the end, I'm actually entertained by them, and I love them. If you're one of those people, don't worry, I won't try to discourage you, because I know that it will just make you angry - and I don't want anyone to get angry! You're fine.

Since I enjoy time-traveling, I like to go back to the year 1000, when a lot of people imagined that the world would end. They sold off their earthly belongings, and went and sat on a hill waiting. And it must have come as a big disappointment to them to find that the sun came up the same way it does every day, and they had to go back to work. The date, by the way, was a thousand years after the birth of Christ, as far as they could figure. Actually, they were off by four years, but it wouldn't have mattered to them, anyway. And I wouldn't have said anything.

I don't recall anyone talking about preparing for the end of the world when I was a kid, but I remember the "Get Ready Man" in one of James Thurber's stories. Thurber had the same slightly silly outlook on life that I have, and took things as they came, not really laughing out loud, but very much aware of the comedy around him. The "Get Ready Man" was an old gentleman with bewitched eyes who rattled around the streets of Columbus, Ohio in a Red Devil automobile at the turn of the twentieth century, and apparently his voice was just a background sound for Thurber's childhood. "Get ready!"

Of course, to be fair, I know that the world will come to an end for me at some point, when it's time for me to go, and for me that's enough to inspire me to enjoy every minute. And that's kind of my point here, I've known a lot of people who get great enjoyment preparing for the end of the world, as they know it. It can include creating a place to be safe from things like roaming zombies, or just roaming hungry people, surrounded by canned food, all carefully labelled. I have a touch of this in my personality, and I often find great comfort in doing prep work, like ordering plenty of dog food well in advance, and pouring it into separate containers, both labelled specifically for each dog.

I've always bought things in large quantities, but only because I dislike going to the grocery store unless I absolutely have to. I have a house with a garage, so I can store paper towels, toilet paper, that sort of thing, to last me for months. This makes me something of a kindred spirit with the Armageddon folks, whom I know look approvingly at me when I purchase paper towels in the extra-extra jumbo packs.

My feeling about people preparing for the end of the world is, as you can guess, indulgent, even if I don't really understand why they like doing it. There are, of course, a lot of things that other people like doing that I don't care for, like watching cricket, or eating sushi, but there's no reason why we can't be friends, and live alongside each other. As long as you're not hurting anyone else, why should it matter to anyone else?

So there you go. I live in the American West, and I know that a lot of people have their homes filled to bursting with stuff that they'll need when all hell breaks loose. And if it's good for the economy, and hurts no one, why not?

"Get ready!"

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