Going to a dance party in Los Angeles in the 1980s
Time-travel with me back to 1986, when I had just moved to the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles when I was 28, and let's go to a dance party. Yes, you can come as you are, and no, you don't need to bring anything, just yourself.
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One of the things that has been true in Los Angeles for a very long time is the ratio of women to men, which is good for the men, not so good for the women. Jan and Dean sang about it in the 1960s by saying, "Two girls for every boy!", and it was still true in the 1980s, when I moved there. But I really wouldn't have realized it until I was invited to a dance party.
And it all starts with a sales rep who used to visit the company where I worked who was answering the question, "Where are all the good men?" And apparently she saw them all of the time in her travels, and I was one of them. She herself was in a serious relationship, which she made very clear to the single men that she met, but she was on a mission to help her girlfriends. And so she arranged dance parties so that these good men and women could meet.
To say that nothing like this had ever occurred to me was an understatement, but these were wonderful women who wanted to meet a man for romance, love, maybe even marriage and family. And I hit the requirements for these men - I was the right age, male, straight, and I lived around there. The fact that I was dazzling handsome was a bonus, of course!
I only went to one party, and looking back I'm glad I did. No, I didn't meet the love of my life, but I got to see something that I would have totally overlooked, and it changed me forever. By the way, I don't recall dancing (I don't dance, don't ask me), but I remember that no alcohol was served, and mostly it was just a group of people standing around in a house just talking.
But don't worry about me, I met a wonderful woman at work not long after that, and she was happy with me. I never married, but I've always been a one-woman man, and when we did break up, years later, it was sad, but not angry. Never angry.
That dance party changed me, and I saw the point of view of these wonderful women. And from that point on I've been trying to convince my fellow men to just behave in a decent way, to get their knuckles off the ground, and that they don't have to worry about being perfect to find a wonderful woman, just good.
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